Weekend Lost

The very last line I put in the email to B the other day, was that Ive learned to never assume anything.

I obviously did not heed my own advice, especially Saturday night.

I purposely did not text B Saturday night; Id figured Id done enough chasing for the week. Plus, on a couple of other occasions, he hadn't contacted me til close to midnight to see if I was free...

I had a couple of wines, watched a couple of movies (on relationships, of course! "Must Love Dogs" and "Hitch"). And waited. And waited. My friend L checked in occasionally to see if Id heard anything from B, but no, I had nothing to report.

So, by 12.15am, I was angry. And I called him. The first time he didn't answer. I called back immediately, and when he answered there was noise, and music. "Hey, how you going?" he asked. I'm freaking sitting here wondering why the hell you haven't called! "Okay", I replied. "Hey," he said, "Can I call you back?" I'm thinking "What??" I didn't answer. "Can I call you back?" he asked again. "I'll call you back" he said, and I hung up.

I was furious. Fifteen minutes later, he still hadn't called. What? I was supposed to hang about, waiting some more? So I texted "are you calling any time soon?? " and a couple of minutes later he called.

I told him I obviously hadn't taken my own advice, because I assumed he would be at least messaging me about coming over. He said he did plan on at least calling around the time he did anyway, but I replied "Well now, we'll never know".

He'd decided to not come by... he had to work in the morning, starting 6.30am. If he had of, by the time he got home, he wouldn't of been in bed til after 2am. Plus, he thought I had my kids for the night (which I do have 2 of every second weekend, but not this time).

He said a number of times "You know I really want to see you, right?". I felt like a whiny child, 'cause I said "No. I don't." At least until I thawed some...

We had a good chat. I got to explain the way I'm feeling a little better. I told him I cant go a whole week with such minimal contact. I don't want him moving in. I don't even want to talk to him every day! But we just have to tee things up better.

I purposely mentioned during our conversation that I lost my job, and that not seeing him just topped things off. "Oh no!" he said. "Don't say that! I'm sorry!" I told him I'd had things planned for the tonight with him and he asked if suspenders and stockings and stuff was part of that. I said he'd have to wait and find out another time.

He asked me where I was, and I told him I was in bed. "What are you wearing?" But I couldn't really play the game. I replied "some little satiny thing" which was true; Id just showered, and was wearing gorgeous satin pj's.

As we finished the call, he said he'd call me the next day. "Be careful" I said. "I'm working!" he replied; he thought I was referring to being "caught" I suppose. "No, I mean be careful what you say about when you're gonna call". But in all fairness, he's only ever said once before that he'd call on a certain day (the day before he went overseas), and he did call that time...

Sunday morning, the only day I get to sleep in, I woke at 6.32am. My very first thought was that B would've started work 2 minutes earlier.

I kind of slept for another 2 hours, and went to my daughters band camp concert.

L had invited me the day before to join her and her kids footy team (and parents obviously) at a local pub for lunch, so I made my way there. A few minutes before getting there, B called. "See? I told you Id call". We talked for a bit, and he asked me what I was doing. I was going to sound easy and say "nothing much" (because I hadn't confirmed with L that I would meet her), but instead I told him where I was headed. "Oh," he said. "I was hoping we could catch up".

Lucky he couldn't see me roll my eyes.

Anyway, long story short, I told him I hadn't confirmed anything with L, and that I wanted to meet up with him, and that I could still go back to the pub afterwards. We arranged to meet at a park we've met at previously, but it took me almost 20 minutes to get there, even though I drove like the wind.

I sat in his work van, now affectionately referred to by me as the Bat Mobile, for no particular reason. He kissed me hello. And then, for the next 45 minutes, we did not touch. Now, that's control! I felt a bit mellow. Tired. And unsure. But we had a great chat. Learned more about each other. Discovered a few things that I probably wouldn't like if we were long term partners anyway, like the fact that he has no interest in travelling to any European country. Not even France. He likes the little Asian destinations. Cheap. Easy going. Relaxed. Quicker flight times. He was telling me about a girl he met; the girlfriend of a mechanic he deals with. About 22, good looking, sings and plays the piano. She did a couple of songs at the show the night before, and the owner seemed impressed. So was B. Perhaps she'll be a permanent fixture at the end of the year. And I got a tad jealous. My mind was in overdrive; that was probably why he was caught up last night when I rang.

I told him I thought he was on a long leash; I reckon he has it pretty good, being "allowed" out so much. He doesn't think its a big deal; most times he is out is to do with work whether its his day job, or musically. He told me he was on a very long leash this Friday night, if I was able to organise anything...(I don't think ill be able to. Maybe an hour or so, but Ill have to have a think about it).

B also told me about a gig his band has got coming up, more than a month away, and invited me along. Id love to see him play. But who knows what will happen in a month...

He told me how he'd be going home for the afternoon, cutting up some wood for the fire, and getting cosy with some beverages. Sounded perfect. All I could do was sigh and nod.

I had to go because the real estate had organised for an electrician to come by and do some repairs. As I leaned to swing my legs out of the van, B leaned in and kissed me. I don't know why, but I couldn't look him in the eye afterward.

I gave him a wink as we caught each other up in the traffic a few minutes later. And then I went to the pub and met L, and a couple of people from footy.

L was drunk. I haven't shared much about her. Shes lovely, a gorgeous loyal friend. But I hope she sorts her shit out. She asked about B, but really was too drunk to concentrate. I got her and her kids home, and stayed a while.

And then, just like that, it was the end of the weekend.