Finally! Sleep!

I slept much better last night! Ah, the simple things! I still have mini conversations in my head, discussing things I want to talk to B about, but just knowing we have a set time we'll be meeting up is so much more soothing than not knowing at all.

I have a best girlfriend who knows everything about me. We've been best friends for more than 25 years. We have shared so much, and been through so much together.

I know though, if I told her this, she would be horrified. And rightly so.

That's why affairs are secret, because they're wrong. But I feel as though I'm betraying her too by not telling her, because Ive shared this with my other girlfriend L, who Ive known perhaps a year. Again, in the discussions within my head, when I envisage telling her, I liken it to the Mills and Boon-type romance novels we both read. For the first time ever, I can relate to that feeling of passion, that feeling of melting from a simple look from the man, my breath catching at his slightest touch. I understand when they talk about the "fire", about letting go, about not being able to concentrate. I'm wondering if she'll be able to understand at all.

This same girlfriend and I, R, are going to see a popular musical in the next few weeks, have lunch etc. Currently I'm feeling that if the topic arises, then I may share it. She was with me the night I met up with B in March, and we talked of him the next morning, but she hasn't asked me about him since, so its unlikely she will bring it up. I also thought that once this affair was over, I could tell her of it, and who knows, by the time of the musical, it may be.