Monday, January 23, 2012
Saw photos today of the wife, online. At a wedding they were at yesterday. She looked gorgeous. Beautiful, radiant.
I so wanna tell her that her husband fucks around.
But what good would it do me.
I so wanna tell her that her husband fucks around.
But what good would it do me.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
No huge developments. Still haven't seen B irl (in real life) for a while (can I really count Christmas Day, given that it was for 10 seconds, we were both in our cars passing each other?).
Our mutual friend that I'm friends with online, recently took a bunch of his employees etc out for lunch. Some photos were posted on his wall. B was in a few of them. And looking damn fine I have to say. No wife in sight (but his wedding ring was. I'm just think its interesting that he spends as much time as possible without her).
Have been going to our local pub regularly, especially on a Sunday arvo. I have a drink or 2 with a friend from the gym and his new wife, and sometimes one or two other people. But I haven't seen B.
I was at the same pub tonight, having dinner with girlfriends. He used to go to this place on a Friday night, and sometimes not get home til late. Other times, he'd be home in time for dinner (around 6pm). We arrived 6.30pm. Sat outside where he would be, but no B.
Have had almost daily contact with my muso friend. In fact we hooked up again a week later after the last time I posted about him. We are clear its just a friends with benefits thing. Ugh! Sounds kinda tacky. He stayed a few hours, I didnt drink myself stupid, and it was a nice night. He has had lots of neck problems and could'nt come over last Friday because was in too much pain after some "cupping". He didn't come over tonight after-all either... not sure why, but we still messaged and played "words with friends" until his usual "good night" message around 11.15. Very disappointing as he knows I'm kid-free til Sunday night, and he said he's got plans the rest of the weekend. Sigh.
My muso friend - we'll call him MC - suggested I put my phone in flight mode so that I dont get woken by texts and alerts and things while I sleep. Probably a good idea. In fact I did it last night. But you know what I keep thinking? What if, out of the blue, B decided to message me? How crazy.
Wednesday night, around 8.15, my phone rang, showing a blocked number. I said hello, but no one spoke, but I could hear some kind of noise at the other end. 15 minutes later it rang again, and same thing. I said "speak now or forever hold your peace". Guess whoever it was decided to hold their peace. But of course I wondered if it was B.
I've got so much time to myself right now. I'm lonely. And bored. Study recommences in a few weeks, and I know Ill get busy again with that, the kids school stuff, work and so on. But this alone crap is... well, crap sometimes.
Our mutual friend that I'm friends with online, recently took a bunch of his employees etc out for lunch. Some photos were posted on his wall. B was in a few of them. And looking damn fine I have to say. No wife in sight (but his wedding ring was. I'm just think its interesting that he spends as much time as possible without her).
Have been going to our local pub regularly, especially on a Sunday arvo. I have a drink or 2 with a friend from the gym and his new wife, and sometimes one or two other people. But I haven't seen B.
I was at the same pub tonight, having dinner with girlfriends. He used to go to this place on a Friday night, and sometimes not get home til late. Other times, he'd be home in time for dinner (around 6pm). We arrived 6.30pm. Sat outside where he would be, but no B.
Have had almost daily contact with my muso friend. In fact we hooked up again a week later after the last time I posted about him. We are clear its just a friends with benefits thing. Ugh! Sounds kinda tacky. He stayed a few hours, I didnt drink myself stupid, and it was a nice night. He has had lots of neck problems and could'nt come over last Friday because was in too much pain after some "cupping". He didn't come over tonight after-all either... not sure why, but we still messaged and played "words with friends" until his usual "good night" message around 11.15. Very disappointing as he knows I'm kid-free til Sunday night, and he said he's got plans the rest of the weekend. Sigh.
My muso friend - we'll call him MC - suggested I put my phone in flight mode so that I dont get woken by texts and alerts and things while I sleep. Probably a good idea. In fact I did it last night. But you know what I keep thinking? What if, out of the blue, B decided to message me? How crazy.
Wednesday night, around 8.15, my phone rang, showing a blocked number. I said hello, but no one spoke, but I could hear some kind of noise at the other end. 15 minutes later it rang again, and same thing. I said "speak now or forever hold your peace". Guess whoever it was decided to hold their peace. But of course I wondered if it was B.
I've got so much time to myself right now. I'm lonely. And bored. Study recommences in a few weeks, and I know Ill get busy again with that, the kids school stuff, work and so on. But this alone crap is... well, crap sometimes.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
So, here we are in day of 3 of the new year.
I have had no contact with B, and although I've pretty much accepted things as they are now, it doesn't stop me from checking my phone every now and then for a message, or watching out for him as I drive around, and so on.
Today I went for my usual (well, usual as in I've gone for a long walk 5 times in 8 days, but intend on continuing this), and walked up to a park where I think his wife sometimes helps out with mums and bubs exercise classes. I didn't walk there with any purpose in mind. Anyway, I noticed a man and woman, and they looked remarkably like B and his wife. Especially her. Long dark hair in a pony, pale skin. He was tall, solid, wearing a cap, but he did indeed look different... And the boy he was helping along on the scooter, wearing a helmet, looked just like their eldest son, but, again, smaller. They had another child, in a pram, and it looked like she was trying to settle the child. I couldn't see (the child) properly, so I'm not sure if it was a boy or girl, but I also thought they were too small anyhow. B's second child surely wouldn't be in a pram, napping...the day I saw her out with her two boys, they were very young, but walking. Anyway, I did a lap of the park, and walked by them again. The guy was indeed different. It was the hair. None-the-less, it was a bit of a shake up.
A while ago I wrote about a musician that I met up with, and who has been in contact with me regularly lately. Long story short, we hooked up Friday night. We cooked dinner together, and he made me an awesome breakky. I drank too much, cant remember everything, and am kicking myself that I also didn't take advantage of this gorgeous gorgeous man who was sprawled naked in my bed. He is moving overseas, as soon as he can work out which Visa etc.
We have been in contact since Friday night too, but via text, email (and the game "Words With Friends!), ugh! But all non-committal stuff. Of course Friday night he talked about some stuff we could do together, but I wont be holding my breath.
So... Im thinkking of approaching him for a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Just not sure how to approach it. Plus Im aware I need to stop contact for at least a few days so it doesn't look like Im smothering him.
I can see many advantages to this arrangement... I just hope I get the courage to ask, and that he doesn't knock me back! :)
I have had no contact with B, and although I've pretty much accepted things as they are now, it doesn't stop me from checking my phone every now and then for a message, or watching out for him as I drive around, and so on.
Today I went for my usual (well, usual as in I've gone for a long walk 5 times in 8 days, but intend on continuing this), and walked up to a park where I think his wife sometimes helps out with mums and bubs exercise classes. I didn't walk there with any purpose in mind. Anyway, I noticed a man and woman, and they looked remarkably like B and his wife. Especially her. Long dark hair in a pony, pale skin. He was tall, solid, wearing a cap, but he did indeed look different... And the boy he was helping along on the scooter, wearing a helmet, looked just like their eldest son, but, again, smaller. They had another child, in a pram, and it looked like she was trying to settle the child. I couldn't see (the child) properly, so I'm not sure if it was a boy or girl, but I also thought they were too small anyhow. B's second child surely wouldn't be in a pram, napping...the day I saw her out with her two boys, they were very young, but walking. Anyway, I did a lap of the park, and walked by them again. The guy was indeed different. It was the hair. None-the-less, it was a bit of a shake up.
A while ago I wrote about a musician that I met up with, and who has been in contact with me regularly lately. Long story short, we hooked up Friday night. We cooked dinner together, and he made me an awesome breakky. I drank too much, cant remember everything, and am kicking myself that I also didn't take advantage of this gorgeous gorgeous man who was sprawled naked in my bed. He is moving overseas, as soon as he can work out which Visa etc.
We have been in contact since Friday night too, but via text, email (and the game "Words With Friends!), ugh! But all non-committal stuff. Of course Friday night he talked about some stuff we could do together, but I wont be holding my breath.
So... Im thinkking of approaching him for a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Just not sure how to approach it. Plus Im aware I need to stop contact for at least a few days so it doesn't look like Im smothering him.
I can see many advantages to this arrangement... I just hope I get the courage to ask, and that he doesn't knock me back! :)
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