3 hours

of heaven.

Have you ever walked in to a poorly lit public place, with other people about, looking for your special person, and not knowing exactly where they are, but somehow, you're drawn to them anyway? Somehow, out of everyone there, you recognise them immediately?

And that's how it was for me.

I walked over to where he was standing with a few other people around, and I hung back a little until he noticed I was there which he did as he was saying goodbye to a couple. They left and he kissed me hello, and gave me the hugest hug. I had to keep myself from crying. I only let go because I knew there were a couple of other guys around... B introduced me to them, and they shook my hand. But I saw they gave each other a few little looks as if to say "whats with that? Who is she?". I could feel B's eyes on me the entire time, but I wasn't sure exactly how to act, because these were guys I hadn't met before. I took a little walk around, and came back, and then offered to buy us (B and myself) a drink. He said he'd buy it, but I insisted. But! The bar was closed (it was, by this time, 12.30). Then the two friends decided to leave, and B and I went outside so he could have a smoke.

And we chat for a while, and touched and stroked, with out fawning all over each other. He loved my new hair style, and I commented on his new tattoos; he just had them done on his recent trip to Thailand. He had his kids names and birth dates done. Nice. I had noticed that there was a period his work van wasn't at his place, so he must of gone during that time. The two guys that we'd just said goodbye to were in Thailand with him, and a bunch of them had just had a catchup dinner. (What must they be thinking about me? What was B like in Thailand?)

He had had a bit to drink, but I expected as much.

He kept telling me how hot, and sexy my hair was, and how he prefers this style. He told me how much he's missed me, and that he thinks about me every day, and that just because he doesn't text me, doesn't mean I'm not on his mind.

The pub was closing, so we sat out in my car for a while (on the way to my car, he made a bit of thing about not wanting me to think he only wanted a lift from me). We talked, we kissed, we touched, and I felt at ease and completely happy.

It's insane, truly.

He had to pee, so he went off to do that, but the pub was closing and wouldn't let him in, so he disappeared around the corner, but as he walked in to the darkness, he tripped, and fell over! As I went to get out of the car and rush over to him, he got up, and walked on. He was about 50 metres away, so I figured that because he seemed okay, Id stay in the car after all...

When he made it back to the car, he stayed outside to have another smoke, and I told him Id seen he'd fallen over. Lucky he had jeans on, because even so, the skin on his left knee was broken and he was bleeding a little. He said he'd twisted his ankle too. Silly drunken billy.

He told me that they'd just bought a new bed, its huge; tall enough so his little kids cant climb in, and wide enough so he cant feel her when he's in there, and cant feel when shes getting in or out. (Actually in an odd way that made me kind of sad, that he's in that situation, but then again that's his choice).

I didn't say as much as I couldve, I guess because I was a bit stunned that we were together again, and I wanted to process things, and because I thought he may not remember some things I said if he was a tad intoxicated.

I did say that Ive thought about him everyday, I told him briefly about trying to meet other guys, but my heart just isn't in it. He'd noticed he hadn't seen me around as much (driving) and I said Id purposely been avoiding his area as much as possible. He told me he got the message about Adele, but he'd just bought the CD and thinks her whole album sounds as if she's having a big whinge but I told him Id actually been referring to the one song. :) I told him how I deliberated for days about whether to send the message to him, telling him I was still here for him.

Eventually we left there, and I drove in our direction home. If my daughters had not of been home, I would've taken him there, but instead I drove to our "spot" beside the reserve.

To get to the point, yes, we had mad sex. I admit I was hesitant, mostly because of time... but he said not to worry, so who was I to argue? Ive said it before, and Ill say it again, his kisses are to die for. And man, does he know how to touch me. But even without that, just simply being in his company is pure ease. I feel amazing, I'm aware of myself as a woman and yes, feel sexy, but with just that little bit of self consciousness to keep me on my toes. Ah... sigh.

We seemed to be more vocal, telling each other what wanted, and asking too. Although we couldve been more specific I guess, 'cause we pretty much just kept saying how we loved whatever the other person was doing! Which was certainly true for me.

I did say a couple of specific things, like I would've rather been in bed, and that I love how he plays with my hair... fuck. I'm in heaven just thinking about his hand on my hair! crazy or what!

I of course came just from him touching me. Twice. He did take a long time; no matter what I did, or what we did, it took ages before he came. His hot juice spurted in rhythm with his heart beat, on to my stomach, and even that felt amazing, and I rubbed some over my boobs.

We took our time getting dressed this time; the last couple of times in the car I've felt I've had to rush, but he just wanted to sit a bit. I wondered if he would shower when he got home. I mean, we did some nasty stuff, and we smelled of sex and sweat and smoke. But it wasn't for me to question.

I got to sleep around 3.45am.

And congratulated myself for not saying "I love you", any one of the number of times I had been about to say it to him tonight.