Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Since Id had in my mind that I wanted to give B a letter which finalised things for me, and acted like "final words" I sent a fairly brief email to his work address last night. I know he had a day off yesterday and that he wouldn't get it until today...
Its 1.14pm, and Ive wondered if he's received it. Ive said in there that I don't expect a reply, but I guess I would really like one. Is that a female thing? :-)
Ive just said again that I don't regret anything, hes helped me find myself, and that him saying he wouldn't see me for a month and that he didn't stay to chat for ten minutes cemented my decision to end things now. I also told him I hoped he sorted himself and his relationship with his wife out, whatever that may mean...
Tears have only spilled over on to my cheeks once today, although they're always there on the precipice.
Again, I know its the best decision, but I become attached easily, and I gave so much of myself, while holding back so much too, and I still hurt.
You know in the movies when new love turns sour for whatever reason, and one of the characters moves cities to get away or they take a job opportunity elsewhere? And then one of them realises what they're losing or letting go off, and they go in search of their love to tell them, only to discover they no longer live there? Well, similarly, yesterday I was offered a larger more appropriate house (for my child who has a disability), and we move next week. Not that I expect B to just contact me one day and want to see me, or just turn up. This house is only 4 minutes drive from where he lives... Sigh.
Serioulsy though, I do find it interesting that this move is happening now, right when a change is needed.
At least my mind will have some other focus for a while.
But I will never forget my gorgeous B.
Its 1.14pm, and Ive wondered if he's received it. Ive said in there that I don't expect a reply, but I guess I would really like one. Is that a female thing? :-)
Ive just said again that I don't regret anything, hes helped me find myself, and that him saying he wouldn't see me for a month and that he didn't stay to chat for ten minutes cemented my decision to end things now. I also told him I hoped he sorted himself and his relationship with his wife out, whatever that may mean...
Tears have only spilled over on to my cheeks once today, although they're always there on the precipice.
Again, I know its the best decision, but I become attached easily, and I gave so much of myself, while holding back so much too, and I still hurt.
You know in the movies when new love turns sour for whatever reason, and one of the characters moves cities to get away or they take a job opportunity elsewhere? And then one of them realises what they're losing or letting go off, and they go in search of their love to tell them, only to discover they no longer live there? Well, similarly, yesterday I was offered a larger more appropriate house (for my child who has a disability), and we move next week. Not that I expect B to just contact me one day and want to see me, or just turn up. This house is only 4 minutes drive from where he lives... Sigh.
Serioulsy though, I do find it interesting that this move is happening now, right when a change is needed.
At least my mind will have some other focus for a while.
But I will never forget my gorgeous B.
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