Self Worth

I wanted to clarify the kind of person I am. Normally.

I am strong, and independent. I don't wait around for others if I need to get something done, unless I absolutely can not do it with out them. Ive learnt to do so much myself over the last year or two, from changing tyres, and putting furniture together, to mowing lawns and keeping budgets and finances. Emotionally Ive had to depend on myself, for years. I do have great supportive friends, but there are some things noone understands, especially if you cant verbalise what youre feeling.

I have always been one of those people who believes that things always work out in the end. In my last long term relationship, while I could acknowledge my mistakes and things I needed to improve on, I also realised that any attacks on my personality by my (now) ex was actually because of his own insecurities, and I learnt to try not to take them too personally. But I am an emotional person, and things still stung at times, perhaps more from wondering how anyone can be so mean, rather than what was actually said or done. Ultimately however, without being high and mighty, I knew I was better than that.

I know I deserve better.

So Ive pondered the question about whether I am "settling" for something with B, because I think I'm not good enough, or my circumstances make it difficult to be in a relationship and thus am using that as an excuse. And honestly, the answer is no. I know I'm a decent and good person. I know that there is someone out there for me one day. I receive attention now, but have been mentally ticking off my checklist of needs, wants and attributes when I meet people. I need to open up and allow more choice, because I think I'm too closed off.

So again, no I don't think I'm settling, I'm transitioning.