Thursday, June 3, 2010
I'd held off crying all day. I was even mentally patting myself on the back for being so strong. I looked at the time and wondered what the time had been when B had sent me the message 2 Wednesdays back saying he had "practice tonight" and of course then I was thinking that no such message would be coming my way today. I picked up my phone, and pressed the sms button before I could change my mind, and scrolled through the messages from B until I found what I was looking for... the message had come in at 3.51pm, and it was now 4.00pm.
And then I cried. I tried to contain it. Really I did. My kids and I had just returned home from school pick up, and showing my little ones the "new house". But the tears flowed.
Minutes later, as I had myself under control, I noticed I had a couple of new emails.
And one was from B.
I was surprised, I have to say. I mean, not only did I not owe him any explanation of why I ended things, he certainly didn't have to respond to what Id written. But he acknowledged or replied to everything I said.
At first I didn't know what to make of his responses; he said he'd never meant to hurt me, but given the situation it was inevitable. He thought me more than just a fuck buddy, and he does give a shit (in reply to me saying he probably didnt).
I sent a text to him saying Id received his email, thanks, and that I didn't know what to say.
But now, the more I read the email, the more I realise how defensive he is being.
The main reason I ended things then was because he didn't say anything about getting together or even so much as giving me a phone call during the next month. And also because we had sex, he had a smoke, and left. His defense was that he cant just vanish (out to see me) even though he'd like to, and that he stayed for a smoke, but had to leave, as usual. Pfft.
Still, while I'm annoyed by his defensiveness, I'm also very happy that he took the time to respond.
And then I cried. I tried to contain it. Really I did. My kids and I had just returned home from school pick up, and showing my little ones the "new house". But the tears flowed.
Minutes later, as I had myself under control, I noticed I had a couple of new emails.
And one was from B.
I was surprised, I have to say. I mean, not only did I not owe him any explanation of why I ended things, he certainly didn't have to respond to what Id written. But he acknowledged or replied to everything I said.
At first I didn't know what to make of his responses; he said he'd never meant to hurt me, but given the situation it was inevitable. He thought me more than just a fuck buddy, and he does give a shit (in reply to me saying he probably didnt).
I sent a text to him saying Id received his email, thanks, and that I didn't know what to say.
But now, the more I read the email, the more I realise how defensive he is being.
The main reason I ended things then was because he didn't say anything about getting together or even so much as giving me a phone call during the next month. And also because we had sex, he had a smoke, and left. His defense was that he cant just vanish (out to see me) even though he'd like to, and that he stayed for a smoke, but had to leave, as usual. Pfft.
Still, while I'm annoyed by his defensiveness, I'm also very happy that he took the time to respond.
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