Saturday, August 21, 2010

Not tonight either

Saturday night again. And no B again...

At least I received a text though, around 8.30pm. But no mushiness this time. "Hey. Cant make it tonight, got people over home. Gotta get back early. Sorry."

I replied not long after: "okay babe. looking forward to the reunion".

10.30 I did a drive by... figured Id see some cars at his house then. Perhaps its for his wife's birthday; I'm sure her birthday is around this time. But nope, not an extra car in sight. No lights on. Nothing.

My personality is mixed; partly skeptic, and otherwise optimistic. On one hand I'm thinking why does the guy feel he needs to lie to me of all people? If you cant come over, or simply don't want to then say so. Don't make up some freakin' story... and then the other part of me thinks, well, if it IS his wife's birthday or whatever, then what is really happening is that there is a celebration of sorts at someones house (like her parents for example) and its easier for B to say there are people at HIS house than explain (especially via text) what the deal is.

The other point is what is his use of keeping me dangling? Or does he think perhaps this is letting me down gently? Ive given him enough opportunity now to have this "whatever this is" end.

Yes I do want to drive by again around midnight... but I wont.

No, I dont undertsnad why Im doing what Im doing. Me, the controlled and composed person that I am...

Next week will be 6 weeks. The same length of time we were apart when I broke it off...

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