Sunday, April 18, 2010
I texted him this morning wondering if Id get to see him at all today, since he knew I had a window of time "free". He replied saying he'd see what he could work out.
We met at a park not far from his home. I went to him with mixed feelings. As I approached his work van, and he got out, I just wanted to take him in my arms and kiss him madly. I didn't.
I wanted to give him the option of ending things now; after last night, and him not climaxing, again, I was feeling low, as though perhaps it was my fault somehow. Did I want to end it, he asked. I told him no, I wasn't ready to let him go, but I didn't want to pressure him for anything more. It was up to him, and to consider that perhaps I wasn't... enough for him. Or something. He kept saying he didn't know what had happened (not "cumming"), because it had never been a problem before, but he wanted to keep seeing me.
We sat about 30cm apart and barely touched. It was our first public meeting, and Id said at one point that that was hard, not being able to touch him.
We were together for an hour and simply talked. And looked. I love looking at him. I don't know about him, but I shared things I haven't shared with anyone other than my best friend. I heard about the woman he still has a soft spot for, and who he would've married if he had not of chosen his current wife. I told him Id left my first marriage largely because of my first love, but when he asked me more about that I told him I'd said all I wanted to for now.
He smokes (I don't), and as he went to light up, he sat on the other side of me so the smoke wouldn't get in my face. He offered me his can of Coke. I like his manners and consideration.
As we said goodbye, I made to leave without touching him - I just thought it would be easier - and he said "Don't I get a kiss" and without further hesitation, I kissed him. Softly. Passionately. My good sunnies fell from my head, and he picked them up.
In the words of Juliet, parting is such sweet sorrow.
We met at a park not far from his home. I went to him with mixed feelings. As I approached his work van, and he got out, I just wanted to take him in my arms and kiss him madly. I didn't.
I wanted to give him the option of ending things now; after last night, and him not climaxing, again, I was feeling low, as though perhaps it was my fault somehow. Did I want to end it, he asked. I told him no, I wasn't ready to let him go, but I didn't want to pressure him for anything more. It was up to him, and to consider that perhaps I wasn't... enough for him. Or something. He kept saying he didn't know what had happened (not "cumming"), because it had never been a problem before, but he wanted to keep seeing me.
We sat about 30cm apart and barely touched. It was our first public meeting, and Id said at one point that that was hard, not being able to touch him.
We were together for an hour and simply talked. And looked. I love looking at him. I don't know about him, but I shared things I haven't shared with anyone other than my best friend. I heard about the woman he still has a soft spot for, and who he would've married if he had not of chosen his current wife. I told him Id left my first marriage largely because of my first love, but when he asked me more about that I told him I'd said all I wanted to for now.
He smokes (I don't), and as he went to light up, he sat on the other side of me so the smoke wouldn't get in my face. He offered me his can of Coke. I like his manners and consideration.
As we said goodbye, I made to leave without touching him - I just thought it would be easier - and he said "Don't I get a kiss" and without further hesitation, I kissed him. Softly. Passionately. My good sunnies fell from my head, and he picked them up.
In the words of Juliet, parting is such sweet sorrow.
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