23 days

... since Ive had any contact with or from B.

23 long, emotional days.

I've drafted a few sms's (addressed to B) but sent them to myself, so I actually have a record of what I was thinking at the time. I found this has been helpful. Even the one that simply said "I miss you".

Ive driven by his street, and noticed he has a different work car at the moment. Actually, after drooping off my daughter to a friends house on Friday, I was driving down the street where his work mate lives (the one who lives next to my girlfriend), and I noticed a car with the same company logo on the side... it crossed my mind that it may be B's because it was parked on the street, not in the driveway. Yesterday I saw the same car at B's.

Last night I had a friend come 'round to watch a DVD. He has just gone through a long drawn out break-up. I have always liked this guy - Ive known him for around 18 years and we did go out briefly back then - but am reluctant to start anything "romantic'' because i dont want to be his re-bound girl. And, I dont want him to be my re-bound guy. He came over around 8pm, and left around 2.30, and as he was leaving, he's standing in my kitchen, talking, and part of me was wondering if he considered kissing me. The other part of me remembered B in pretty much the same spot, and we didn't do much talking... And all night, I had my mobile by my side, just in case B messaged me, even though realistically I knew / know that he wouldn't. :(

So next Saturday, he goes back to his Saturday night gig.

I wonder how long before I hear from him. I wonder if I can hold out from making the first move.

I wonder what my response will be. I should keep it all light; no d&m stuff. But I think Ill include both. :)