4 weeks

I can not believe its only been 4 weeks since the text from B telling me I had to move on.

Had the day at the club with my nan today, and the artist performing was someone B had mentioned that rainy day I sat in his car, only 5 weeks ago. He has a great gravel-type voice, and sings a variety of songs.

I sent B a message saying that I liked the gravel in his voice, and ten minutes later B replied with "He's good hey. How are you?"

I felt like I was viewing someone else life; there I am, a single mum, getting texts from a married man I've had an affair with, and still think of constantly, while watching an artist that we spoke of only recently, organised by a man who I'm 'friends' with on a social networking site, who is B's boss for his other job, and on who's 'wall' B's wife posted a pic of their gorgeous kids recently. And I'm sitting there thinking, oh my, if only you all knew...

That was 11.30am. Its 5pm now, and I didnt reply. I didnt know what to say. If I say 'great', he'll think Im moving on. If I say 'Fan-fucking-tastic', he'll realise my sarcasm, and I'll look childish. How about 'Good thanks. You?' Oh yes. Let's be utterly polite. And now that Ive not replied, I'll just look rude.

Sigh.

On the way home, I decided to pick up some groceries, and made my way to the shopping centre near B's. And wouldn't you know it, on one of the main streets, right near his house, I passed him in his work car. He had another guy with him. I saw no indication that he recognised me or my car, which is kind of good; when I renewed my registration recently, I changed the number plates, and he wouldn't know about that, unless he's driven past my house while my car has been parked.

I think I'm glad I didn't reply.