Drive By

Fathers Day today. My own dad was interstate. The guy I've been with since March was catching up with some friends and we were meeting up later, and I went shopping and stuff. As I was driving home, past B's street, he pulled out in his white American car. He saw me of course, but didn't acknowledge me. He drove the opposite direction.

Dinner Dance

To be completed...

Deleted Messages

Today, I finally bit the bullet and deleted all of B's messages from my iPhone 3 and iPhone 4. A matter of necessity, and because, well, what do I need to keep them for? My daughter "bought" my iPhone 3 off me, so I erased everything from that phone for her. And, while things are going pretty good with the guy I've been seeing a few months, I thought that it was time to remove the messages even though they occurred before I started this current relationship. Admittedly however, I have saved some messages to my hard drive... just in case. ;)

Show Time

To be completed....

Around

He is still there, even faintly, in the recesses of my mind. Last week, while driving past B's street, a car turned out from their street in front of me that I knew to be B's dads car. I noticed a little boy running to the corner of the street to wave - B's son - and I could see his wife just a couple of houses up, watching. And as I drove behind his dad's car, knowing that he lives 2 minutes from my house, watching his dad's cigarette smoke pour out the window (know I can see why B smokes like a chimney), I kept thinking how ironic things are. I could've sent B a message about it, or even a photo. Haha. And I also kept thinking how I could follow them (his mum was in the car too) home, and tell them a thing or two. But of course I didn't. I did dream about him last night. It was like I was on display. He was sitting in the crowd, or the audience, with his family, while I was out the front, with other people, with my back toward the crowd, looking at some view or scenery, and yet the whole time I knew and was aware he was watching me. Odd. That's about it really. My new B and I are doing pretty good. There were a few miscommunication incidents over the last week, but we're okay. :)

Happy :)

But not for the reasons you'd first think.

At the beginning of March I met a guy. It got off to a bit of a slow start, from my part, because I was a little unsure (for reasons I'll disclose in a sec), but we've been together ever since. He is the most normal, down to earth uncomplicated guy I think Ive ever known. That's not to say he doesn't have "stuff" that has happened, or that has affected him, but he is so easy to be with. The night we met, I was straight up and told him how old I am, and that I have kids, and he was fine with both. He is about to turn 35, and has no children. He said "if you already think our relationship wont work because of that, then it probably wont. Right now, I'm happy not to have kids. I don't know if I want them or not. We could just enjoy the relationship and see what happens". I liked his way of thinking. Or maybe it was how he approached it. Anyway, whatever. Its all working, and we're officially a couple. He treats me so lovely.

I have seen B twice more since my last post. I don't tend to drive his way much - on purpose probably, but also because my daily life is a lot different. I havent been to the gym in at least 2 months, and my grocery and other shopping I tend to do elsewhere. One time though, it was around 10am, and I drove up his street on the way to somewhere, and he must of either had a late start for work, or come back home for something, because I was behind his work van as it went up the street. He went left, and I went right. He probably saw me.

And just last week, I saw him in that Impala I wrote about last time, and he was right near my house. I know he saw me that time.

I will always remember him and the good times we had, and how I felt. But I am glad I'm not holding on to that any longer. My new man is also a B, and I would like to think that I would be over the original B, even if I didn't have the new B. Part of me is a little angry still that he did that to me, to his wife, for 2 years, but mostly now all I can do is shrug and know that he's the one that has to deal with it.

My new B is amazing. And its the first real relationship I have had in 3 years.

Sigh.

:)

x

Oops.

I did something stupid during the week.

Care to hazard a guess?

It was Tuesday. I was on the way to meet my Nan at the club, and was feeling nostalgic. So I texted B. I said that "not a day went by where I didn't think of" him. "Just sayin'."

Its Sunday now, and I didn't hear from him. I didn't really think I would, but at least I got it out of me. Actually though, there was part of me which wondered if he would message me last night, while he was working. Just some kind of acknowledgement, but I suppose I'm pleased for his sake that he didn't.

I'm positive I saw him this afternoon however, in his car he had imported months ago. I'd had a drink at my local, and was on my way home. He was coming around the round-a-bout (near his home), and I was leaving it. Its a big white chunky cool car, so its a bit hard to not notice, and on my double-take, I saw it was left side drive, and the person had a cap on. That is so him.

So... yeh.

Thats all.