He's not game

Mid week I sent B a text, asking when he'd be seeing me again.  It wasn't demanding; I kept it light.  He replied "Not sure. Why?" I knew I'd be staying in Saturday night, and thought it would be a perfect opportunity for him to stop by on the way home from work, which I let him know.  I said I 'get thirsty' and for us to not let it be months between drinks...  He replied saying he's not as game as he used to be.  This was a bit of confusing statement.  Not as game?  Why?  Has he almost been busted out with someone else? Has his wife been voicing suspicions?  Perhaps he's just maturing, and realising the potential consequences for his actions?  Or maybe that was just a polite way of saying he's not as 'keen' about me.  Whatever, I asked him why that was and he said he didn't know.   I didn't reply.  What could I say to that? Yeah, right.

So last night, Saturday, I decided I wasn't going to sit around wondering if he was coming by or not, so I asked him.  He said he wasn't because he had a big day on (today).  Id thought of all these things to reply, but I knew they were too full on.  I have to remember to keep my emotions in check, and accept this for what it is, so I simply replied "okay. When you're ready, you know where I am. x". And he replied 'thanks.' I kind of took that to mean, in actuality, that he was thanking me for not pressuring him or giving him a hard time about it.  I realise though I may not hear from him for months...

I like this quote:

This stop / start / stop / start is no good. But I cant imagine never seeing him again.