Catch up

I thought Id see B for sure last night (Saturday), cause I at least had his cigarettes to give him. ;-) but when I hadn't heard from him by midnight I realised that he wasn't coming by.

I texted him asking "I'm not seeing you tonight?". And then I went to sleep.

Around 2.30am I woke, and discovered he had sent me two texts in reply. The first one just said he couldn't come by because he was "car-pooling", but that he could come by after work the next day and / or "bump" in to me at our local pub in the afternoon. And he finished by saying "I miss you." The second text must of been because I didn't respond; he said "Well?".

I didn't think he'd appreciate a text at 2.30am, so I sent one when I woke at 7.30am, and just said I couldn't believe Id slept through getting his texts, told him my daughters were home, and that he should pick a place and time for when he finished work and Id meet him there.

I went to the gym as usual, and had just finished my cardio part of my workout when he texted for me to meet him at the lakes, where we've met on other occasions.

When I arrived, he pulled out a couple of fold out chairs, and we sat in the shade of the trees, with a gentle breeze, in the gorgeous sun-shiny weather. Shame we only had water to drink.

I gave him his cigarettes, and showed him the photos of my trip. And we talked for just over an hour.

As well as working Saturday nights, Friday nights are also booked now, until Christmas (and then he has a 6 week break). But it doesn't look like Ill get to see him any of those times because they've decided to continue car-pooling.

This Thursday I'm having a boob job; I don't even fill an A cup, I've had a number of children, and I'm almost 40 (in 5 months). I think it well deserved. Id told B about this decision just before I went on my holiday, and he seemed to think it a great idea. So, when he told me about car-pooling, I reminded him of my 'pending acquisitions' and told him he wont get to see them then. At first he thought I meant I just wasn't going to show him, but then I clarified and said "because you're car-pooling" and he said "we'll see". As we left each other he said he'd message me Friday to see how it all went.

There was no other physical contact other than a kiss on the lips hello, and goodbye. And while I was happy I got to see him, and spend time with him, I'm probably more upset than ever knowing that I wont have him in my arms for god knows how long, if ever again.

I really don't know what it is about this man.

He's still going up to the pub this arvo with a big bunch of guys apparently, and I may be too with a couple of girls I was on holiday with. We'll be lucky if we do anything more than the " 'sup" nod and smile in acknowledgement of each other.